So You Think You Know John Beatty?

Today happens to be the birthday of my best buddy, John Beatty.

Most ZONERs know "Big" John from his appearances on the SZ message boards, but in honor of his birthday, here are:

Some things about John Beatty that you might not know:

* John Beatty was quite an accomplished break dancer in his youth. Rumors abound to this day that he was the first choice to play the role of "Rerun" on "What's Happening?"

* John Beatty invented the "spoiler alert" used on the internet to let folks not that plot points and surprise endings are forthcoming.


* John Beatty is quite a singer. Perhaps most famous for his cover of Elvis tunes, Jim Ivey [noted raconteur, in the Who's Who of the World] continues to say, "It's not Christmas season until Big John sings 'Blue Christmas.'

* John Beatty is an accomplished actor. He appeared as the evil "Patch" in "Nightveil: Witch War" [available on dvd from accomics.com]. Rumors of an action figure are too scary to think about.


* John Beatty is an accomplished pool player. He has been known to repeatedly spot an opponent every ball on the table and still win!


* John Beatty is an accomplished poker player. He's been known to go both ways in a game of high-low five card stud having nothing but an Ace High and a ten low and beat the table where players had better lows and better highs!


* John Beatty was ahead of the curve when it came to home computers. While still in his teens he had work published in several books on computer use!


* John Beatty's comic career is full of highlights: he worked on the first Secret Wars series [which spawned the popularity of the mini-series]; he worked on the first Punisher mini-series [which kicked the backup character to leading man status]; he worked on the first new Batman book in 50 years [which was also the first comic to start the trend of multple covers]. It is also rumored that Big John, while still a child, was the first to utter Alfred E. Neuman's famous, "What, Me Worry?" line.


Although unconfirmed, it is believed that John Beatty was the first to wear the haircut made famous by the lead singer of Flock of Seagals, that Beatty encouraged Brian Setzer to give up glam rock and try something with a rock-a-billy style, that Beatty suggested that James Cameron follow up "Terminator 2" with something "Titanic," that Beatty was the first to suggest the ideas for "American Idol," "Survivor," and "What's Happening Now?"


Many people find it hard to believe that Big John has done so much in just 45 years on this planet. Speculation abounds that he is much older than that. Unverified pictures of someone looking like John Beatty from the civil war era are rampant in conspiracy circles.

Happy, Happy, Big J!